“My ADHD keeps writing cheques that my Autism just can’t cash”
‘AuDHD’ is a portmanteau that one can use if they tick enough boxes on enough diagnostic tests. In a way, the ‘word’ captures the reality of a diagnosis of co-occurring ADHD and Autism, in that, rather than being two labels stuck together, the different traits of neurodivergence are interwoven.
To understand how AuDHD presents, it can be useful to look at a Venn Diagram where Autism is one circle and ADHD is the other.
In the middle, well that would be AuDHD.
For each individual who has both a diagnosis of ADHD and Autism, the middle of the venn diagram will look different, with different attributes from either side.
Some children and young people might show the ADHD drive for speed, spontaneity, and novelty, but then bump up against the autistic need for predictability and calm. Others may be intensely focused (sometimes called hyperfocus) but find transitions between activities exhausting. Or, the autistic hyperfocus might lock onto one area of interest, while the ADHD attention shifts every few minutes.
It could be the child who can create a dossier on dinosaurs at 6am but can’t write two sentences in school at 10am, or the teenager who can game for 12 hours straight but who can’t load the dishwasher.
For parents, it can help explain why their child might cope brilliantly one day and unravel the next. Why school might describe them as distracted, while at home you see them hyperfocused for hours (or the other way around).
It can feel logically inconsistent to experience the baffling switch between really capable and apparently unable, but you’ll get that with AuDHD. As one young person described it; ‘My ADHD keeps writing cheques that my Autism just can’t cash.’ That is, their ADHD has them impulsively saying yes in the moment, to the task, the plan, the promise. But when it comes time to deliver, the autistic side is overwhelmed by demand, change, or exhaustion.
What you need to do is to understand the child, understand what motivates them, and then support them in a way that works for them.
Building self-knowledge is important. When young people start to notice which traits trip them up and which ones unlock their focus and creativity, everyone can begin to anticipate challenges instead of being blindsided by them. Self-awareness gives everyone the language for what’s happening and a toolkit for explaining to others how they feel and what they need.
In other words, working out what is in the middle circle of the child’s venn diagram.
When trying to motivate an AuDHDer, we need to help them understand deeply ‘why’ they need to do the thing. Motivation in AuDHD isn’t about can or can’t, but rather it’s about when, why, and under what conditions. The key is reframing motivation as circumstantial rather than willpower based.
Then we can:
- link tasks to interests
- use body doubling
- offer structure with flexibility
- offer the information-consequences-choice sequence and/or
- use urgency and reward wisely.
We always must remember that rest and taking breaks is part of the strategy.
Just think, if you are the ever positive strategy suggestor and motivational support, rather than the irritated nagger, the only way they can get you to move on is task completion.
Supporting motivation in this way not only reduces battles but also gives children space to shine in their own way. Imagine what they could achieve if they could focus on their interests and strengths more, rather than what they are not doing or not achieving.
In a nutshell, we don’t want them to stop writing cheques. Rather, we want to help them make sure the cheques don’t bounce!
