Puberty can be a challenging time for any child, but it can be especially confusing and overwhelming for autistic girls. As parents, your role in supporting your autistic daughters during this period of change is crucial. Open communication, understanding unique sensory needs, providing routines, and teaching boundaries are all key aspects of helping your child navigate puberty successfully.
In honour of International Women’s Day 2024, Louise Wallis-Jones, Head of Therapies and Lead Speech and Language Therapist at The Holmewood School, shares her top tips to support autistic girls during puberty.
1. Open Communication: Establish a Safe Space
One of the most important things you can do is to create a safe and open environment for your autistic daughter to discuss her feelings, concerns, and questions about puberty. Autistic individuals may find it challenging to express their emotions, so it’s essential to encourage them to communicate.
- Use clear, direct language. When discussing puberty-related topics, use simple and straightforward language. Avoid euphemisms or metaphors, as autistic individuals often prefer clear and concrete communication.
- Non-judgemental responses. Be supportive when your child opens up to you. Avoid laughing or making jokes unless it is context-specific and clearly understood by your child. When humour is on their terms, it can help reduce anxiety and create connection.
- Visuals and social stories. Visual aids and social stories can be incredibly helpful in explaining the physical and emotional changes that occur during puberty. Making information visual, concrete, and predictable reduces anxiety and helps girls understand what to expect.
2. Supporting Sensory Needs
Autistic girls may have unique and specific sensory needs during puberty. These needs could include sensitivities to certain hygiene products, clothing, or changes in routine.
- Individual assessment. Take the time to understand your child’s sensory preferences and sensitivities. This knowledge will help you make informed choices about products, clothing, and routines.
- Provide consistent routines. Self-care routines can be broken down into small, clear steps. Visuals, checklists, or schedules may help your daughter follow them more independently. Predictability is key to reducing stress.
3. Teaching Boundaries and Privacy
Understanding boundaries and privacy becomes crucial during puberty to ensure the safety and wellbeing of autistic girls.
- Concrete and explicit teaching. Autistic individuals often benefit from very clear and explicit instructions. Be direct when discussing personal boundaries, privacy, and safe relationships.
- Visual supports. Social stories, visual prompts, or role-play activities can reinforce the importance of privacy and help embed the concepts in a practical way.
4. Managing Emotions
Puberty often brings about intense emotions for all children, and autistic girls may struggle even more to regulate their feelings at this time. Hormonal changes can heighten anxiety, frustration, or mood swings, making emotional support especially important.
- Acknowledge different feelings. Let your child know it is normal to have a range of emotions and that these feelings are safe to share. Creating a non-judgemental space to express them builds trust.
- Provide strategies. Work with your child to develop calming techniques such as deep breathing, mindfulness, sensory breaks, or engaging in activities that help them feel regulated.
- Offer extra support during periods. Before and during menstruation, some autistic girls may need targeted resources and additional patience. Be prepared to adapt your support during this time.
Every Girl’s Journey is Unique
Supporting autistic girls during puberty requires open communication, sensitivity to sensory needs, clear teaching of boundaries, and assistance with managing emotions. By creating a safe and understanding environment, you can help your child navigate this challenging period with confidence and resilience.
Every autistic girl is unique. Tailor your support to her individual learning profile, strengths, and needs. With reassurance, patience, and empathy, you can help your daughter build independence and self-acceptance as she enters this new stage of life.
